Zzzzzz

HOLY CRAP!!!

I volunteer as tribute for all of you to smack the shit out of me. I jumped headfirst into this whole blog thing...and then left you hanging.

I suck.

But hey, at least I realized it and am blogging for you again! That makes it better right?

Well, now that that is aside let's talk about something you all know I love: Harry Potter!

Looks like construction is heavily underway. 12 Grimmauld Place is nearly halfway complete and they have place the caboose of Hogwarts Express on its tracks!! Check it out!

Here is 12 Grimmauld Place and here is the Hogwarts Express!

For those of you who do not know what 12 Grimmauld Place is...read a book once in a while! It is the home of the Black family as well as the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix.

Finally, there was a spectacular announcement made that the Leaky Cauldron will be within the park!!

Check it out.

Now, I'm not sure if you will be visiting for the Grand Opening, but there is rumor that the entire cast of the films (along with J.K. Rowling) will make an appearance. I have decided that I am going to visit on the week of the Grand Opening, but because I am so selfless I am using the trip as a graduation present for my cousin. How nice am I? She is obviously nowhere near the obsession point I am when it comes to Harry Potter, but she beats most of the crowd. And you can bet your bottom that I'll be taking lots of pictures for your all to live vicariously through my photos (wishing you were there with me). But before we get to that point, I have to make certain that I keep you engaged (with my blog) so you will be hearing more from me than you ever expected. 

So again, I apologize for taking a lifetime off of blogging but hopefully this makes up for the knowledge I have deprived you of. If not, then our friendship is over (it happens to the best of us). 

Until next time,

Kenny Cygeirt

Just one of those days

As promised, here is your weekly fix of chuckles, giggles, and laugh-out-louds: it's Hump Day!!

Enjoy!

• Jack was watching his mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: ‘Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?’

• Melanie asked her granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn’t remember any more. Melanie said, ‘If you don’t remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.’

• Brittany had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in pain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she’d have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: ‘How does it know it’s me?’

• Susan was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. ‘Please don’t give me this juice again,’ she said, ‘It makes my teeth cough.’

• Clinton was in his bedroom looking worried when his mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, ‘I don’t know what’ll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?’

• Marc was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: ‘Why is he whispering in her mouth?’

• Tammy was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, ‘Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?’

• James was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: ‘The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.’ Concerned, James asked: ‘What happened to the flea?’

• Karen asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys? Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

• Johnny told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

Until Next Time,

The Intern

Learn From Your Mistakes

Yes, today is Hump Day. And yes, I will give you some giggles and laughs (but they will be later today). For now, I'd like to share with you my background story for why you've been seeing so much about Focus T25 and me working out.

Growing up, I was always the kid who was a little bigger than most; I’ve never been skinny. To be honest, I used to blame it on genetics. I told myself that I would grow out of my weight: I told myself it was just baby weight. By the time I reached my senior year in high school, I realized that my body was never going to look like I wanted because I was doing nothing to make it happen. I hated myself. I reached a point in my life where I held myself back from being with friends in the summer because I was beyond embarrassed to be without a shirt, and I would hide my spontaneous personality (which was hard for someone who has a personality as strong as mine) because I didn’t want my body to be singled out and judged. When my senior year in high school started, I knew things had to change: that’s when I was introduced to a life changing program.

I look up to my uncle as a mentor and a father figure, so when he sat down to talk with me about my weight and how I should think about exercising and getting fit, I knew I couldn’t disappoint him. He said he would purchase the P90X program if I promised to complete the whole program (with him by my side of course): I said yes. And let me tell you, it was the best decision of my life! Once I decided to commit it was like some sort of exercise guru took-over my body and forced me to get fit and lose weight. Of course it wasn’t always easy and exciting. There were plenty of times when I tried to make an excuse not to workout for that day; I hurt too much from the day before, I had plans, I was tired, etc. There were even days where I told myself “you are not cut out for this. You will never look like you want, so just give up now” but I then would envision myself 2 months from that point and see myself healthier and more fit than I could have ever imagined: that picture was what pushed me through the tough times.

When I started P90X, I weighed 195lbs. I couldn’t run more than .25 miles without stopping and I could barely complete the daily exercises (but I pushed as hard as I could). I was disgusted with myself, and I wanted to give up. But P90X changed all of that! After I completed the program, I weighed 140lbs and was in the best shape of my life. I ran 2-3 miles every day and blew through the daily exercises with ease. I was finally proud of my body. And it was great timing because I was about to start college the following year, so it was a great feeling knowing I was going into college with the most self-confidence I have had in all of my life.

When I started college, I felt great. For the first 2 months I stayed on my daily routine of exercise. But the further I progressed in college, the less I would workout. A huge part of college is being independent and getting involved, so I got 2 jobs and became involved within numerous organizations. I had gotten to the point where I was attending class for half of the day, work for 5 hours, and then organizations meetings for a few more hours: there was no time to workout. I slumped into my old habits; I let myself down by gaining all of my weight back and slowly getting out of shape. Today, 2 years later, I weigh 185lbs. I hate myself again. I think to myself everyday “how could you let yourself get this way again? After all of your hard work getting to a point where you were happy” and I just blamed it on time.

Finally, I decided that enough was enough. I told myself I would never get back to this point, unfortunately I failed. But because I felt the taste of success 2 years ago, I am driven more than ever to get back there. And stay there! I have made a promise to myself, and the people I coach, that I will never let myself nor themselves get to the point of self-hatred. Although a mistake was made (you fell back into your old habits), that doesn’t/shouldn’t stop you from getting back. I have learned from my mistake, I took my success for granted, and I know now that I will NEVER come back to this.

Shaun T opened my eyes to Focus T25. For a guy like me, nothing is more fitting in my life than an hour’s worth of workout in 25 minutes. I have not finished the program yet (I am actually only 2 days into it), but I already feel better. I feel like I did 2 years ago. I don’t know if is just the program, or if the Shakeology has something to do with it, but I feel great! Within the 2 days that I have been using Shakeology and Focus T25, I have lost 2lbs. And I have made a huge change this time around with my transformation. This time I am not just doing it to lose weight and get fit: this time I am doing it to live a completely different lifestyle, a healthy lifestyle. I am following a nutrition plan, doing the exercises, and taking the supplements. I am changing my life for the better. And this time it’s going to stay.

Until Next Time,
The Intern

Time to Focus

It has begun!

I just received my Focus T25 challenge pack in the mail! I decided (a week ago) that it is time for me to make a major lifestyle change: it's time for me to be healthy and fit.

I was debating between starting P90X (because I have seen such amazing success stories) and Focus T25. I knew I wanted to lose weight, but I also wanted to get in shape. Where the problem lays is within the amount of time it takes to complete most workouts. I don't have the time in the day to drop everything I'm doing to work out for 45-60 minutes, so I decided Focus T25 was the perfect program for me.

The program is set in so that you work out 5 days a week for 25 minutes each day except Friday (you do the workout twice in a row). Don't be fooled though, Shaun T kicks your ass.

I was skeptical going into it at first; I thought "how am I going to get a 1 hour workout in 25 minutes". Once, I started, my mind was changed completely. Shaun T makes sure to start of your exercises slow and easy, then he picks up the speed to where your heart rate instantly shoots through the roof! After about 5-6 minutes of non-stop working out, he pushes right into the "Burnout". Burnout is a section in the video where Shaun T goes through all the previous exercises but in a much quicker pace.

YOU WILL SWEAT!!!

I never thought I would sweat that much in a mere 25 minutes. This program (so far) seems very legit. I can tell it will work: 1.) because it is proven to and 2.) because I will push to make it work.

I bought the Focus T25 Challenge Pack that included the set of dvds, 30 day supply of Shakeology (flavor of your choice), 15lb resistance band, bonus workout disc, Shakeology recipe calendar, and the 5 Day Diet plan. The program itself is enough to get someone into shape and looking good, but the Shakeology provides that extra push to complete the transformation and leads you into a better way of living.

If you guys are interested in purchasing this program, and working through it with me, follow this link!

Before you turn away thinking that you don't have the money for this right now, I want to show you the numbers (because everyone loves numbers). If you were to buy just the set of dvds (without Shakeology, the band, the bonus workout, and the recipe books), you would spend $120 before tax. And if you were to buy just the 30 day supply of Shakeology, you would spend $120 before tax. As you can see, the challenge pack (including everything listed and in the picture above) is only $180 before tax!! That is a steal. To open your eyes a little further, when the price of a 30 day supply of Shakeology is broken down into each day, you are only paying $4 per meal. I don't know of any other meal that provides your with such an immense amount of nutrients for such a low price.

Finally, if you are looking to be the motivation for someone who is ready and willing to change their life for the better, think about becoming a Beachbody coach. This is a great way not only to help others achieve their goal of living a healthier lifestyle, but also a great way to earn some extra income! Not to mention that when you purchase the challenge pack for Focus T25 your $40 signup fee (for being a first time coach) is waived.

Also, if you want to look into any other programs feel free to visit my personal Beachbody coach site and take a look around.

If you have any questions about how to become a Beachbody coach, or just want to know more about my story and how Beachbody has/will help me, feel free to comment below!

Until Next Time,
The Intern

#PunsonPuns

It’s been a long week for me guys.

I first want to apologize for not providing you with the laughs and giggles that I know you all love so much. As much of you know already, I had my surgery on Tuesday. Since then, I have felt very groggy and tired; I’m not sure if it is left over anesthesia or just the excessively strong pain meds I’m on, but nonetheless…I can’t seem to stay awake. Trust me though (says the guy who failed to keep his promise to provide happy Hump Days every week) when I say that I had every intention to post yesterday, but when I got home after work I sat on the couch and the next thing I know it’s 8:30pm. So (obviously) I did not post.

I’m sorry ok!

Life goes on however, and I’m glad to say that my medical condition is all cleared! I went through a simple 45 minute surgery and now I’m hobbling around (doped up on meds) with more pain than I started with: but I’m all clear! And because I feel so back about not giving you all a good laugh yesterday (although Big Holly was able to on Instagram), I’m moving my Hump Day post to today!

*cue cheering*

But, because today is Thursday, this is a special edition I like to call TIME-TURNER THURSDAY!! Get it? Because of Harry Potter… and Hermione’s time-turner…that takes them….back…in…time. 

NEVERMIND

This week’s giggles are brought on by the most obvious, but awkward jokes of all time: puns.

Enjoy!

• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
• I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.
• I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
• I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
• There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.
• Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
• When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
• Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
• I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
• A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.
• It's a lengthy article on Japanese Sword Fighters but I can Samurais it for you.
• A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.
• I quit gymnastics because I was tired of hanging around the bars.
• Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you. 

And my personal favorites:

• It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
• Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Until Next Time,
The Intern

Feeling Good

Wanna hear the news?

You know that thing I told you about on that one day regarding those things only guys have? Yeah. Well, mine aren't as bad as I thought they would be!

I should've known WebMD was out to get me.

The doctor called me today and told me the good news: I have varicocele. I know that may not sound like good news to you (or even a real word) but that means not only am I cancer-free, but I get to keep ALL of my self. It truly puts my mind at rest knowing that I am in the clear of such a scary disease. However, this turmoil isn't over quite yet.

To clarify, varicocele is the widening of the veins along the spermatic cord. These nuisances cause blood to backup and flow improperly, eventually causing a lack of oxygen to reach the "boys of the south" then leading to infertility.

I'll take infertility over cancer and/or losing a piece of me any day.

The doctor informed me that the next step can go one of two ways: surgery or antibiotics. Either my condition is severe enough that a surgery (proceed with caution to video of surgery) is needed to redirect the blood flow and correct the condition. Or I can resolve my issue with simple antibiotics and good ole rest. But only time will tell.

An update will come soon as to what is decided: surgery or antibiotics?

Until Next Time,
The Intern

Kernia

Hey There!

I’m going to be straight with you all today; I’m going to share something with you that has been worrying me for some time now.

Over the past few years I have had a strong pain in my lower abdomen/frontal groin region: my man nuggets. The pain usually lasted for a day or two and would then dissipate. So of course I didn’t think anything of it. After the pain would stop, I just carried on with my normal everyday routine. And then (a few months to a year later), the pain came back.

Before I continue, I want to clarify for all of you out there saying, “Why didn’t you go to the doctor after the first time stupid”; I follow in my mother’s footsteps. My mother had heart palpitations and (they caused her a great amount of pain) thought nothing of them because the pain subsided after a few days. She does not go to the doctor unless she is either dying or bleeding profusely, and it is the same way with me. I noticed this pain in my man parts and thought “golly, that really hurts” so I rested for a day or two. Once the pain diminished, I thought I was cured and went back to my routine.

However, two weeks ago I was moving out of my apartment into the one I’ll be living in for the upcoming school year, when I experienced more pain than I could bear.

Let’s back up a little though. On that Saturday, I had been moving things (nonstop) for six and a half hours and I couldn’t have felt better in my life. I have been running and exercising all summer, so I felt like I was in pretty good shape. My coin purse thought otherwise. At the end of my move (when I was moving boxes from the living room to my bedroom), I lifted up a back and immediately dropped it! It felt like I had been kicked by King Leonidas.

As all men know, nothing hurts more than a swift kick to the tree roots, but this was SO much worse!

Anyway, after I stood there screaming in agony, I waddled back to the chair and fell in (thinking it would be a good idea). Wrong again! I now felt the pain of a second Spartan kick. However, the pain finally subsided enough to the point where I could at least get up and try to walk it off (because that actually works). Of course, this whole time my friend is asking if I’m okay; if I wanted him to take me to the hospital. I said no (pretty stupid…I know); I decided it would be better if I just go home, sit in the hot bath, and wait it out for a few days.

Skipping forward to last Thursday

I had now not only been in pain (losing my ability to exercise), but I also had more than enough time to utilize the greatest and scariest website of all time: WebMD.

As I’m sitting in my apartment eating everything in sight, I chose to succumb to my curiosity and check my diagnosis on WebMD. Needless to say, I had been completely convinced that I now have man cancer. I cried (not really because men don’t cry…I’m a man). But I was very worried that I’d be losing one of my boys. At that point I knew it was time for the doctor. And let me tell you what! There was no point of going to that guy: Dr. Bigg.

I walked in the office, followed Dr.Bigg to his dungeon(esk) room, and gave him a real good look. You know what he tells me? “I don’t want to jump to conclusions, so I’ll schedule an ultrasound for you. You’ll go in next week.”

WHAT?!?! You can't just leave a guy hanging!

Skipping ahead to Tuesday

I go in for my ultrasound. You would think lying on a table for an hour while a lady pours lube on your nether-region and runs her hand back and forth would be a good time, but it wasn’t. All I could think about was, “Why is she focusing on the same spot twice? Why is she clicking buttons? Why is this taking so long?” I’ll admit that I was worried; what guy wouldn’t be?

Finally, after our one hour of alone time, she lets me get dressed and leads me to the front room and tells me I’ll get my results within 24-48 hours. She just let me go! She didn’t say whether she saw something or if I was fine and I had nothing to worry about; she didn’t tell me anything.

Skipping to Today

It has been more than 48 hours…and no sign of results. What am I thinking? I think the doctor got my results, found something wrong with me, and decided he’ll just let me suffer.

*SIDE NOTE* I will admit that all of the anticipation and worry has allowed my brain to concentrate on other things rather than my pain: I don’t notice it too much when I’m anxious.

However, I am going to wait until tomorrow to call the office for the results.

All the while, I’ll be sitting here with my fingers crossed hoping it’s something as simple as an infection.

Until Next Time,

The Intern

It's Only Wednesday?!?

Happy Hump Day!

Per the usual, today I'll pleasure you with a giggle (or two) and leave you with a smile on your face.

*SIDE NOTE* Today's hump day post is separated into a few (but hilariously funny) stories.

Enjoy!

Keep It In The Classroom

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.

"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then Little Johnny says, 
"I have a question for YOU."

"There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher (blushing a great deal) replies,
"Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on........but I like your thinking."

Always Know Your Surroundings

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner she would like to make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before. So he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. 

The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy (it being his first time and all).

That night, the boy meets his girlfriend at the door of her parents' house, "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. He quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and he's still deep in prayer with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

Nothing Gets Past 'Em

When I was six months pregnant (with my third child), my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready for a shower. 

She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" 

I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." 

"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

Math: What a Son of a *itch

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a *itch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a *itch is nine." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" 

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." 

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. 

"Yes," he answered. 

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" 

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." 

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a *itch is four?" 

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."


Last, but certainly not least:

You Don't Mess With A Cardinals Fan

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Cubs fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Cubs fans too. Not really knowing what a Cubs fan was (but wanting to be like their teacher), their hands explode into the air.

There is, however, one exception. One girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. “Because I’m not a Cubs fan.”

"Then what are you?" asked the teacher.

“I’m proud to be a St. Louis Cardinals fan,” boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she is a Cardinals fan.

“Well, my dad and mom are Cardinals fans, so I’m a Cardinals fan too.”

The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?”

A pause.

“Then,” says the girl (with a smile), “I’d be a Cubs fan.”


As always, I hope you enjoyed these little stories and are leaving happier than when you came.

Until Next Time,
The Intern

The Whole Fam Damily

Hello Again!

I’ve been reading through quite a few blogs over the past couple of weeks. For those of you following me, I’ve noticed that your blogs contain a lot of info regarding your life at home (the moments usually overlooked by most). It’s quite touching really. I feel like we have a special bond; I feel like if we were to pass each other in the street I would be able to talk all about you and your family! I could talk about that time you went to the pool and little Jimmy was brave enough to take off his floaties. Or maybe the time you and Susie went to the park and she fell off the monkey bars.

But it’s not fair that I would do all of the talking now is it? So I suppose it’s time for you to meet MY family!

James Sirius Potter: He is my oldest. 

His first year at Hogwarts.

Most of you won’t admit that you have a favorite child, but I’m not afraid to: James is my favorite. I’ve set the highest standards for this boy. Just as was expected of me, my son is to be the next GREAT within the House of Gryffindor that Hogwarts has ever seen (besides myself of course). So far he hasn’t lived up to his name, but surely he’ll come around. If not, then Albus Severus Potter will have to step up to the plate.

Albus Severus Potter: Albus is my second oldest. He is shyer than most kids his age; he doesn’t talk much, but when he does you’ll see that he is the smartest kid. I worry about him sometimes though. He seems too interested in my past. He’s always asking me questions about my adventures and my quarrels with Voldem You-Know-Who and he wants EVERY detail. Other than that, I don’t have to worry about this kid too much (unlike his brother). But once/if he starts with his parseltongue, then he’s out of here; I am NOT dealing with that again!

Lily Luna Potter: My beautiful girl Lily is the youngest of my kids. Although she is the most adorable of all my children, she is by far the most moody! I hope no parent ever has to go through a tantrum like Lily threw when James got his letter from Hogwarts and she didn’t. I thought her hair was red before, but I can swear it was on fire that day. Don’t misunderstand me though, that red hair puts me at ease; if a dementor were to come after her she won’t have to worry about her soul being taken.

Last (but certainly not least), my wife:

Ginny (Weasley) Potter: The love of my life. The (other) half to my whole. My one true soul mate. I don’t know what I would do without my beautiful wife, Ginny.

Who am I kidding! Of course Ginny and I had a fling during our school years, but everyone knows I was (am) in love with Hermione Granger. But it turns out that (although he most definitely does not deserve her) Ron was a better fit in her life. I mean, wake up Hermione!! Was he the “Chosen One”? Did he defeat Volde You-Know-Who? Is he rich?!?! Get your act together! Dig out your time-turner and spin away; go back and take me for everything that I am (you were obviously confused back then when you chose Ron).

You've loved me since 2nd year.

Until Next Time,
The Intern

Throw Away the Anti-Aging Cream

Hey There,

Because the consensus is that I am merely 10 or 12; I did a little research into things that make people look old(er).

• Facial hair is a must to look like an old(er) man; unfortunately my body hates me and only allows hair to grow on my chin, neck, upper-lip, and sideburns/cheeks. To solve this issue, I have decided I will replicate a beard via coffee grounds glued to my face. I am such a genius!!

• Height is yet another trait associated with manly-men. Not that I'm a hobbit (2 to 4 feet), but my 5' 10" body hasn't quite landed me the role for Man of the Year. If Robert Downey Jr. can use them to look like a tall hunk of man-meat, then so can I: shoe lifts it is!!

• Suits (need I say more ladies). Of course a guy can't wear just any suit, rather he has to be wearing designer quality (i.e. Gucci, Armani, Dolce & Gabbana, etc.). Surely designer tags sewn on my Goodwill suits will do the trick!

If I actually put these tips to use, this would be the new and old(er) me:

However, I am NOT going to do that. After reading your comments (and researching the above), I realized something. But before I tell you what is I realized, I wanna play a game.

Guess the age of these men (without using Google). 

To reveal the answer, highlight directly under the pictures to reveal their age.

I'm 51.

      I'm 73.

I'm 44.

What I'm trying to say here (and what I realized) is...I'm flattered!


Nicki.

You're too sweet!

And Becky!!

I feel blessed that you would rank me with Chuck Norris and Hugh Jackman. The way I'm looking at this situation is that if you think I look 10 or 12 now, then I'll be Tom Cruise when I'm 51. Can't argue with that!

Until Next Time,
The Intern


PS-For those of you who don't actually know how old I really am: I am 20 years young.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

I do not advertise for Geico, nor do I take credit for this video.

Wednesdays suck because although you are finally past Monday, 2 days separate you from Friday. So to lighten your mood (as well as my own), I come bearing wonderful laughs and simple giggles for all to experience.

Because nearly every blogger seems to be a woman or mother (no bitterness in this statement at all...I love me some women), I've themed this Hump Day after children. And get your head out of the gutter; you know what I meant.

Enjoy!


When surveyed, these were the answers received by a group of young children:


WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? 
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.-Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.-Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? 
When they’re rich.-Pam, age 7 (her mother taught her well)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?-Kelvin, age 8 

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.-Kristen, age 10 

Kids vs. Teachers:

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct, now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Glenn: KROKODIAL
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Glenn: Maybe it was wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: ME!

Hopefully you got a good laugh out of these (at least a giggle will suffice). 

I know I said this would be a children themed Hump Day post, but I came across quite an interesting fact today. 

As many of you already know, I am the intern working with Holly Stanfield this summer.

*Side Note* Check out her blog if you haven't already. 

Throughout my time with her, I have come to realize that one thing really stands out with her: she hates (and I mean HATES) to drink either tap water or water from a plastic bottle. As a matter of fact, today she bought a bottle of Aquafina purified water and said she was afraid to drink anymore because it tasted horrible. Anyway, to Holly (and all of you reading this), you may want to consider sticking with alcohol from now on. 

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of E. Coli (bacteria found in feces). In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop annually.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering, and fermenting.

So remember:
Water = Poop
Alcohol = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink alcohol and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

Until Next Time,
The Intern